The Roller Coaster of Love

Up, Up & Away

The human heart is such a complex thing. It takes us on a wild roller coaster ride that even the most die hard amusement park ride lovers have trouble coping with. Navigating the wild twists and turns, and stomach curling ups and downs,  of love can make the best of us green, yet we jump on willingly, even when we know what the ride will be like.

Why do we choose to get on these rides? As a young girl I actually hated the roller coaster. I went on it once and that was enough for me. Give me the gentle ferris wheel any day. When it comes to love, however, I seem to be willing to jump on time and time again, forgetting what it felt like the last time when it all went seriously wrong.

I’m still moving through this thing called divorce. The guy that used to be my partner, my lover, my companion is in the process of packing up all his stuff and “getting the hell outta here’, as he so emphatically stated once. He arrived back home from CA, and from the arms of other womyn, last week. Each day I watch as the places where he used to be, become empty. His half of the closet. The garage (well, at least I can walk through it now!). His office. My heart.

When your heart is aching and bleeding all over the floor, how do you see the gifts of the amazing moment you are in? How do you climb in for the ride and arrive at the end hottin’ and hollerin’, climbing out of that little roller coaster car with a smile on your face and a sense of some sort of accomplishment that you survived?

It’s not easy. But survive we do, and eventually we even get back on again for the ride. What I have discovered in this delirious journey is that as my heart expands and contracts, grieves and mourns, rages and releases, I am being birthed into a new self. What better gift could I ask for? She is resilient and strong, empowered and powerful, broken open and freed. The fog has lifted and the clarity is informing and revealing. Suddenly, my stride has become more purposeful and my vision more clear. I detach from that which has not served me, fed my soul, or honored the magnificence of my feminine self. I feel my feelings with a fierce sense of devotion to the ride and a willingness to see myself through it all.

Currently, I am coaching a couple and am leading a group of womyn in a 6 week adventure of healing our relationships with, and beliefs about, men. Realizing that my personal experience provides a rich foundation for the work I do, and allows me to become a masterful coach in the game of relationships, helps me to enjoy the roller coaster just a little bit more. If my journey can make someone else’s easier, then it’s all worth it.

Even so, I’m thinking it’s going to be along time before I decide to ride this roller coaster again!

The Key To Sustainability-Common Interest

Golden BlueSustainability. What does it mean? What does it look like? More than just a buzzword, sustainability can be a way of life, a moral obligation, a lifestyle, and even a spiritual practice. Often sustainability is thought of in terms of the environment and what we can be doing to reduce our human impact of it.

But, what does it mean in terms of our personal lives, and within the realm of relationships? How does one practice or integrate sustainability, both from an environmental perspective as well as from a more personal one, into their life?

These questions, and more, were the topic of a recent Cafe Conversation that I host every month. These engaging and provocative Cafe’s provide members of the community the opportunity to come together and share conversations about the deeper, more meaningful topics often not covered in social situations. I have to tell you that this topic was one of the most interesting and energetic ones we have had in our 3 yrs running! This tells me that it is an important one, and one that lots of us need to be having often.

We are in interesting times. The inevitability of Peak Oil looms before us. Global Climate Change is undeniable. The current economic situation has everyone looking at ways to simplify, reduce, save, recycle and whatever else can be done to stretch the dollar just a little bit more. If we are to transition into these times with any semblance of grace, it is absolutely imperative that we have these conversations. We should have been having them years ago, and some of us were. Now it is no longer a luxury.

Sustainability can be defined as the capability to endure as a system to maintain diversity. This is easy to understand in terms of the environment-we need diverse eco-systems to maintain an eclectic array of plant, insect and animal life. What about the sustainability of our own personal and internal ecology?

At the Cafe we decided that individual (my) sustainability, which could also be considered well being, supports the sustainability of the whole. By putting our personal sustainability (evolution?) 1st over the relationship, the family, the community we positively effect those things in regards to their sustainability and growth. (The old put your air mask on first theory.) The connection of personal sustainability and environmental sustainability can not be ignored.

All of this is great, in and of itself. But what holds it all together? We don’t live in a vacuum, so what happens when you have 60 billion people, plus all the other species, trying to survive on this one fantastic planet? The key to true sustainability, we decided at the Cafe, whether you are talking about this whole planet, or the relationship between two people, or even with yourself, is a point of interest that is commonly shared. The point of interest feeds the commitment to sustainability. All the hard work, or all the love in the world doesn’t make a sustainable relationship. Everyone must have the desire, that common point of interest, to see it manifested, to sustain the attention and intention towards the end result of true sustainability.

To tie it all together, the final ingrediante required is a healthy dose of respect. It’s hard to maintain the desire for sustainability on our planet if you don’t respect Mother Earth.  Likewise, if you don’t respect yourself, chances are you’re not going to make choices that sustain health, vitality, and other life affirming adjectives, for yourself, or the relationships you are in. This brings up the assumption that sustainability is always a positive thing. Is it possible for negative things to be sustained like ideas, beliefs and thoughts?

Of course it is. It’s probably just not very sustainable.

(Lots of gratitude to the Cafe Conversation participants for their contribution to this blogpost!)

Experiencing Men, Experiencing Ourselves

Haley and MichaelWanting to announce this new program that I am very excited about!!

I would love to invite you to a very special womyn’s circle, that I know many of you would enjoy and benefit from. This 6 week experience (meeting 1x week) explores our intimate relationships with men, our beliefs we have about men, and what patterns and behaviors we have developed that don’t support healthy, whole and happy partnerships.

As the circle is limited to only 7 womyn, and it is half full already, if you are interested it is best to let me know ASAP. If you are unable to join for this time frame, and are wishing you could be a part of the group, let me know. With enough interest we will run a 2nd group, and I am also considering a tele version of it.

Look forward to having you be a part of the circle!

Experiencing Men, Experiencing Ourselves-

A Womyn’s Relationship Support and Healing Group

A 6 week adventure, starting July 27th, and meeting for each consecutive Monday after.

6:30PM-8PM

$10-15 donation per session

Appropriate for ALL womyn-single, in relationship, married, or divorced.

Commitment to the full 6 weeks required.

The journey of intimate relationship between men and womyn is fraught with hope, desire, disappointment, pain, joy and fear. For most couples, relationship is often a struggle. While we all yearn, and have a strong urge for, love relationships that are free of mistrust, disharmony, separation and pain, rarely do we find the pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.

As womyn we especially desire to discover a nurturing, supportive, loving and tender partnership that allows for us to safely bloom into the sensual, incredible womyn creatures that we are.

Is it all the men, or do we have a part in the results and outcomes of our intimate relationships? What conscious beliefs and subconscious learnings influence our behaviors, our decisions,and our relations with men? How are we sabotaging our best intentions, or making choices so that we can continue to play out our stories?

Within a peer group of other womyn asking these same questions, and wanting to commit to a new path, we will explore our intimate relationships to, and with men. We will discover the commonality of our experiences , witnessing, acknowledging and validating our shared journey’s.

Utilizing group discussions, facilitated exercises, sharing circles, grief work, personal reflection and other processes, we will strive to understand ourselves better as we begin to discover ways to improve our relations with men through improving relationship with self. We will identify sabotaging patterns, behaviors and thoughts, and make a new commitment towards embracing a better way. We will learn how we can choose better by honoring our authentic truths, releasing fear and recognizing when we are going down a repetitive path.

This safe, confidential, and experiential loving space will also include celebration, honoring and respect of our innate beauty as womyn, the challenges we face, and the vision we share for right relationship. It is possible to experience intimacy with abundance and joy and create an amazing life that can include an amazing partner!!

Can a group of powerful and loving women help each other get what they truly want and deserve? Yes, we can!!

Coach Margie Scott is a Master Certified Retreat and Life Coach, with over 15 yrs experience facilitating groups and events. Through her work, and in support of her clients, she encourages the design of sustainable lives, relationships, and environments, with a focus on Whole Health. She is the owner of Living Bliss Life Coaching and Retreats, and has been playing the relationship game for a very long time! Her most recent game has taught her the value of conscious commitment, and has uncovered the power of hidden beliefs, sabotaging behaviors and the silent contracts that we bring to our relationships.