Big, Bold, and Brilliant

No Fear!Have you ever been told that you are too much of something? You’re too sensitive, or you’re too “big”, or too affectionate, or too open, or too trusting, or… too, too, too…

Who defines what too much is? If my “bigness” (by this I mean one’s energetic field, or level of confidence and self assurance, not physical size) makes someone uncomfortable, is that my issue or theirs? If the other person is uncomfortable with it all, am I required, or expected, to tone down to accommodate their comfort? Then, what becomes of mine?

What do you think?

I am reminded of the Marianne Williamson quote (that is so often wrongly credited to Nelson Mandela) that says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I believe there is nothing enlightened about shrinking into smallness to allow others to feel more comfortable. But, what do you do when your greatness (and I don’t mean ego-I’m-so-awesome- and-am-up-here-above-everyone-else kind of great, but rather our innate, divine, life affirming greatness..) leaves you in a league by yourself, because others can’t handle it? How then do you continue shining?

I don’t want to be forced to make a choice between being real, authentic, heart-wide-open, and superficial, surface, and playing small. The truth is I won’t make the choice, because there is only one way to go for me. But, it might cause me to get a little dull if placed in that dynamic.

It’s hard to stand in the brilliance of our own light let alone someone else’s. Of course it is uncomfortable. Yet real and authentic, big and juicy, honest and transparent are far more interesting to me, despite the inherent challenges and level of new skills that one must learn to get comfortable in it all.

Sometimes it’s easier to stand in someone else’s light-to admire, oogle over, be envious of-than it is to consider how we could shine the same way. “We ask ourselves,Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

When we tell someone they are too this or that, in my opinion we are perpetuating an emotional act of violence on them, for we are asking them to turn their light down, so we won’t have to confront how we are not shining our own lights. We want them to come down to our comfort zone, rather than demanding of ourselves to rise to higher standards. We are asking that person to become small, to shrink, to kill themselves on some level, to not be who they really are. All because it makes us uncomfortable.

Instead, we might consider, what is here for me? Why is this person’s brilliance making me uncomfortable? What might I say to this person to share my experience, in a way that takes self responsibility, and allows us both to learn and become closer?

Because when we consciously, or subconsciously, ask, or suggest, for someone to get small, we are building up a barrier to intimacy, separating from others, and shrinking away from the light within ourselves. And that building of barriers to intimacy and connection with others is a sure block on the road to Living Bliss.

So, let yourself shine. And please, let others do the same. Liberate yourself from the fear. If it gets too bright, put on your sunglasses, or leave the room. Just don’t ask anyone else to turn down their light, or tell them they are too bright. Cause honey, that’s about you, not them!

Be big, play big, shine bright. Your playing small (and asking others to do the same) does not serve the world.

How big are you willing to be? Go ahead, roar like a lion!

Ambition 3

Catch this weeks Bliss101Radio show with Merv Neal, laughter advocate, and some one who doesn’t ask permission to live his bliss.

I’d love to hear your feedback and thoughts on this posts topic.

Activities For the Fall

Falltime in the parkFall is the time we begin to turn inward, to wrap ourselves in warm blankets, and hunker down to see the Winter through. But before that happens there is a refreshing period of time between the hot days of Summer, and the cold dark of Winter. The air is brisk and clean. The sun is warm and softening. There is a gentle anticipation in the air as we feel the seasons change.

This, my friends, is a perfect time to de-clutter! To look around and see what sort of “stuff” you acquired over the playful Summer time, or all that stuff that you haven’t been paying attention to for-ever.

I invite you to participate in the 30 Day Clutter Challenge, to assist you in removing the blocks, challenges, and physical stuff that gets in the way of your great life.

My specialty with de-cluttering is helping you to identify the deeper elements of what cause you to clutter in the first place. Without identifying this, you can clean up and organize, but eventually you will be right back where you started from. Frustrated, and surrounded by all that stuff.

What else would you do with your life, space, and time…..if clutter wasn’t holding you back? Join the Clutter Challenge and find out!!

The challenge will include weekly tele-conference calls, group support, 1:1 personalized coaching, tips and tricks for assisting the de-cluttering process, and a fresh new start for you!

Special early bird prices available till Oct 15th.

Thank you in advance for sharing this with any clients or friends who might be interested, or could benefit from, the Challenge.

OK, now where is that blanket?