Big, Bold, and Brilliant

Have you ever been told that you are too much of something? You’re too sensitive, or you’re too “big”, or too affectionate, or too open, or too trusting, or… too, too, too…

Who defines what too much is? If my “bigness” (by this I mean one’s energetic field, or level of confidence and self assurance, not physical size) makes someone uncomfortable, is that my issue or theirs? If the other person is uncomfortable with it all, am I required, or expected, to tone down to accommodate their comfort? Then, what becomes of mine?

What do you think?

I am reminded of the Marianne Williamson quote (that is so often wrongly credited to Nelson Mandela) that says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I believe there is nothing enlightened about shrinking into smallness to allow others to feel more comfortable. But, what do you do when your greatness (and I don’t mean ego-I’m-so-awesome- and-am-up-here-above-everyone-else kind of great, but rather our innate, divine, life affirming greatness..) leaves you in a league by yourself, because others can’t handle it? How then do you continue shining?

I don’t want to be forced to make a choice between being real, authentic, heart-wide-open, and superficial, surface, and playing small. The truth is I won’t make the choice, because there is only one way to go for me. But, it might cause me to get a little dull if placed in that dynamic.

It’s hard to stand in the brilliance of our own light let alone someone else’s. Of course it is uncomfortable. Yet real and authentic, big and juicy, honest and transparent are far more interesting to me, despite the inherent challenges and level of new skills that one must learn to get comfortable in it all.

Sometimes it’s easier to stand in someone else’s light-to admire, oogle over, be envious of-than it is to consider how we could shine the same way. “We ask ourselves,Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

When we tell someone they are too this or that, in my opinion we are perpetuating an emotional act of violence on them, for we are asking them to turn their light down, so we won’t have to confront how we are not shining our own lights. We want them to come down to our comfort zone, rather than demanding of ourselves to rise to higher standards. We are asking that person to become small, to shrink, to kill themselves on some level, to not be who they really are. All because it makes us uncomfortable.

Instead, we might consider, what is here for me? Why is this person’s brilliance making me uncomfortable? What might I say to this person to share my experience, in a way that takes self responsibility, and allows us both to learn and become closer?

Because when we consciously, or subconsciously, ask, or suggest, for someone to get small, we are building up a barrier to intimacy, separating from others, and shrinking away from the light within ourselves. And that building of barriers to intimacy and connection with others is a sure block on the road to Living Bliss.

So, let yourself shine. And please, let others do the same. Liberate yourself from the fear. If it gets too bright, put on your sunglasses, or leave the room. Just don’t ask anyone else to turn down their light, or tell them they are too bright. Cause honey, that’s about you, not them!

Be big, play big, shine bright. Your playing small (and asking others to do the same) does not serve the world.

How big are you willing to be? Go ahead, roar like a lion!

Catch this weeks Bliss101Radio show with Merv Neal, laughter advocate, and some one who doesn’t ask permission to live his bliss.

I’d love to hear your feedback and thoughts on this posts topic.

Owning Bliss

I recently got an email from a womyn, who happens to be named Bliss. She was upset that I was using her name within the context of “trite self help seminars”.  This got me thinking about the ownership of things like our names, and ideas, and concepts. Actually, my first reaction was …”geez, you’re complaining because I am using your name in a good way?”

I have to admit, I wasn’t very P.C. with my response. I suggested that perhaps she would want to honor her namesake, vs complaining about others who are perusing their own bliss and helping others to do the same. Well, as they say, you can’t please everyone. The important thing is not allowing ourselves to get pulled down by the naysayers, or to doubt the good of what we do. However, I felt sad that rather than seeing the good of my work, she saw it as a personal insult of some kind.

But, back to the ownership idea. Just because we are given a name, do we own it, or what it means? Do we have a right to say how others interpret it, or use it? When we share an idea with the world, is it still ours, or does it become part of the collective mind soup?

Bliss is identified in most dictionaries as a noun. That means it can be either a person, place, or a thing. I’m thinking the Bliss I refer to is a “thing”, as it is a way of being, a lifestyle, something we choose to do or not to do. It can become a part of us, as a person, but it is not our personhood, so to speak.

Bliss is also described as :

1. Supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment: wedded bliss.

2. Theology . the joy of heaven.

3. Heaven; paradise: the road to eternal bliss.

4. Archaic . a cause of great joy or happiness

These don’t seem to be anything that anyone can lay claim too, with regards to suggesting that no-one else can pursue it, help others to find it, or have it themselves. Quite the opposite is true, actually. You can claim it for yourself and your life,  and in fact, I would highly encourage you to do so!

So, here’s the bottom line. Bliss is for everyone. It belongs to all of us. It’s available to all beings, whether we are given Bliss as a namesake or not. All you have to do is choose Bliss, and you can have it too. And, if you happen to have the good fortune of being able to support others in bringing on their bliss, well, that’s an added bonus! So, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Bliss cannot be privatized, corporatized, gentrified, homogenized, or pirated. If you want it, claim it. For yourself. For your life. However you want to express it.  Just remember, everyone gets to claim some for themselves as well.  So, go ahead, buzz around in your own Bliss!

Have you listened to Bliss101Radio on BlogtalkRadio yet? Today I interviewed Gretchen Baer, a womyn whose primary goal in life is sharing creativity and joy with others, being a Bliss Prankster, and celebrating the great festival of life. Check out the show here.

What Is Bliss?

Bliss is a choice

Bliss is a way of being

Bliss comes from the inside out

It cannot be gotten anywhere

No one gives you bliss

You choose to let it enter your life

Bliss comes from following your inner truth

From knowing who you are

What you want

How to ask for it

Bliss doesn’t sit in the victim chair

It reminds you that everything happens for a reason

and helps you to learn the lessons

Bliss says no to drama

Yes to problem solving

Yes to listening

Yes to compassion

Bliss allows you to see the beauty

in the midst of chaos

Bliss opens your mind and heart

Bliss says Yes I can!

Bliss puts a smile on your face

& a rightness in your step

Bliss seeks peacefulness and resolution

It is loving and kind

Bliss makes your life garden grow

Providing a bountiful harvest for your enjoyment

Bliss brings you closer to God

Whatever God is to you

Bliss opens doors

Carries your burdens

Holds the space

and provides a strong foundation to your life.

Bliss is not selfish.

But it is self serving.

It has you unapologetically giving the world your wonderful, amazing and unique gifts

Bliss isn’t about what you do, it’s about who you are.

Join the upcoming FREE tele-class “Get Your Bliss-ology On! “, on August 2nd ! Go here for more details.

Bliss In These Troubled Times

There is a lot going on in our world right now. The one thing that is most likely on every one’s mind is the huge disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. This catastrophe is beyond comprehension on many levels. The environmental devastation is monumental, we don’t even know the extent of it as the oil continues to gush into the ocean each day in absurd amounts. My heart cries regularly about it, as this human created nightmare wrecks havoc and chaos on the planet.

How do we stay centered in our bliss, connected to the joy and beauty of life around us, when such horrible events are happening? Maybe it’s not even something that is “over there”, maybe there is equal devastation happening in your life right now, somehow.

The last year has been a challenging one for me. This is what I learned, and shared at the conference, about staying in bliss in these troubled times:

• Bliss never leaves, We just forget that it is there.
• It is so important to reach out to others so we can be reminded of who we are.
• Feel your feelings. So many times I wanted to feel better, and I knew if I didn’t experience the grief, rage, and despair that there was no way I could truly understand the gift of bliss.
• Our thoughts are not the truth. During times of devastation it is natural for despairing and depressive thoughts to take control. However, at any time we can decide to think thoughts that bring us closer to bliss.
• Bliss is a choice. While bad things happen, they are not our life, they are just a part of it.
  

One of the ways that I deal with the Gulf disaster is to spend every morning in meditation and prayer, where I send love, healing, and light to the Gulf , and to all beings affected by it. Prayers go to the plankton, the swimmy ones, the creepy crawlies, the winged ones, and the 2 legged’s. I ask for forgiveness and accept my part in what is happening. I pray that the powers to be will awaken to more life affirming choices, stepping away from greed and the wounding of this amazing planet. I use bells, and incense, and song, whatever will carry my words on the wind to be received by the oneness that is all of us.

Choosing bliss does not mean ignoring the reality of what is going on around us. It is about choosing to not get stuck in the ugliness and wound-ology of it all. Pray, sing loud, take responsibility, and then enjoy the life that is in front of you today.

Blissful Chaos

Life is

tumbling,

rolling,

changing,

swirling,

upheaving,

a dancing microcosm

of expanding universal

reality

So much to worry about.

So much to stress about.

So much to feel anxious about.

And,

So much beauty, so much possibility, so much love.

Can you sustain your bliss in the midst of it all?

Can you find beauty among the chaos?

Can you dance in the rain and manifest the rainbow?

Bliss is a state of mind. It does not come to us through situations, people, or things. We harvest bliss within ourselves. This is our work. To realize heaven is right here on Earth, right now.

Despite.

« Previous Page — Next Page »