Light At The End Of A Dark Tunnel
February 22, 2010 by Coach Margie
Filed under Health & Wellness, Whole Health, divorce, emotional energy, personal growth, relationships, self empowerment
Pain. Sadness. Grief. Despair. Stress. “Uck!”, you say? I agree.
Unfortunately, that’s where I have been, to be openly honest.
Well, it’s where I was. Hence the lack of new words, in the last 2 months, on these pages.
Yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Actually, I am IN the light right now. Whew……sooooo good to be here.
The journey of life is not always an easy one. Try as we may, sometimes we fall down. Sometimes we can’t get back up for awhile. Sometimes we need to rely on our friends to get us through the day, or even more, the night. Sometimes we wonder if we will make it.
One thing I have learned. The universe, or God, or whatever you want to call it, never gives us more than we can handle. And when it feels like we won’t be able to handle it, it is because we need to learn how to.
The last 8 months have been one of the most challenging times in my life. A period where everything that is my life came up for question, and got turned completely inside out, when my partner made the choice to end our relationship. I’ve come to understand that it wasn’t so much the break-up, or that my partner couldn’t show up the way I hoped he would, that threw me head first and screaming into the dark tunnel. Sure, that was painful and had it’s own set of tears and grief. What had more impact though, was what got called up with-in me, what I was forced to confront, how I chose to engage in the process, and how in the end I was the one that had to figure it all out and re-design my life. Your friends can only hold your hand for so long.
Having the opportunity to evaluate everything in your life and discern the truth of it for yourself is a wild and weird ride. However, when you wake up one morning and finally accept that things just aren’t what you thought they would be, you have to do something. While it is hard to recognize it at the time, such a cataclysmic event can be a real gift. The blessing for me has been about reconnecting to the essential elements of my souls requirements-what my soul needs to live a life of authentic bliss. Isn’t it amazing how we can lose sight of what those things are sometimes?
The re-design doesn’t happen over night. (Small manageable steps, as I tell my clients all the time!) It requires deep exploration, internal questioning, values review and lots of time for simply healing. In my journey I have given myself oodles of gentleness, self nurturing and space to just be. It’s not easy. I’m a go-getter, organizer and facilitator. To not have a clear sense of what is around the corner of my life drives me crazy sometimes.
But the truth is, do we ever know what is around the corner? If I had known that the fated relationship was going to end up as it did, would I have gone forward? And if not, then what would I have lost? Certainly the rich lessons of the journey. While they came with some heartache, ultimately, the gifts I am left with for myself are ones I am grateful to have. I do not regret the journey.
And today, well, for today I am just darn happy that I made it through that tunnel! And, I’m here to tell you, if you happen to be finding yourself in some dark tunnel with no light in sight, that you will too. I just know it.
Adding Value and Giving Thanks
November 24, 2009 by Coach Margie
Filed under Life Coaching, celebrations, personal growth, relationships, retreat
(This is a re-post from another blog I had. I share it with you today as I scurry off to the mountains and cold of Colorado to spend Thanksgiving with dear friends. May you have a marvelously abundant and joyful Thanksgiving holiday! Thanks for being a reader. )
Lately I have been pondering, and sitting with, the question of “How can I add value to your life?”. Your being the collective your; all those around me, all those I touch, have contact with, and intersect with in various ways.
As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, a time when we naturally take stock of all the things we have to be joyfully grateful for, it’s a bit of an interesting twist. As I list my mountains of abundance that I am so thankful for, I also get to consider all the ways that I might be able to positively impact another’s life.
How can I add value to your life? Depending on who I ask will certainly influence the answer. Actually, it is not even imperative that I really ask the other person, it is a question I can ask of myself about another person. “How can I add value to so&so’s life?”.
It occurs to me, that unless those I am asking really know who I am, they may not be aware of how I may add value to their life. If, for instance, the person I asked did not know that I am a Life Coach, they wouldn’t know that I might support them in gaining clarity or in creating balance in their lives. If they know I am a Life Coach, they may not understand that my focus is on Whole Health and Wellness, especially within relationships, and that my passion is in helping others to gain a sense of complete healthiness in all aspects of their life. If they are needing respite and renewal, and didn’t know I facilitate custom designed retreats for individuals and groups, they wouldn’t know I could help them step out of their usual lives and into a safe place of stillness where their authentic voice could really be heard. Likewise, if one was unaware of my community building experience, or organizational skills, networking prowess, or love for collaborative ventures, how would they know to ask?
As we consider the possibility of adding value to lives of others, in ways that they will be thankful for, while we count our own blessings, it seems important that we let others know who we are!!
But first, we must ask ourselves…how do I value myself? In what ways can I add value to my own life? What aspects of myself do I believe adds value to the lives of others? Believing in ourselves and trusting that we have something of value to contribute to the world at large, and knowing what that is, is as important as wanting to make a positive impact.
Sometimes we are not always able to connect to our intrinsic value and positive contribution to the world. Hopefully, this is when our friends and loved ones take notice, and ask us how they can add value to our lives! And then, we get to count our blessings and have give thanks and the circle continues.
Today, I am grateful for many, many things, and I ask: how can I add value to your life?
The Red Tent Temple Movement
November 17, 2009 by Coach Margie
Filed under Health & Wellness, Self Development, celebrations, personal growth, relationships, retreat, self empowerment
Awhile back a Facebook friend, and fellow Womyn’s Circle facilitator that I originally met back East in what now seems like life times ago, posted a link to a movement that she is starting, called the Red Tent Temple Movement. ALisha Starkweather is well known as an extraordinary and skilled facilitator for personal and global transformation and is the founder of the Women’s Belly and Womb Conference and Daughters of the Earth Gatherings; a Women’s Tribal Event, and her Priestess Path Apprenticeship.
ALisa says, ”
“The Red Tent Temple Movement is a way for women to gather our inner momentum, that feeling like the time is now, and to authentically come forward with everything we are as women. It gives us a place to incubate, dream, slow down, without an agenda or plan. It is a woman space where we can share stories, laughter, songs, food and honor our unique feminine cycles that we experience each month, whether we are in our bleeding time or going through peri-menopause and menopause. The Temple provides a way that is more consistent with our actual rhythms, cycles and ways of being in relationship to each other that support, foster and give us strength and courage.
It is time. The women are ready to co-create a vision in the societies we live in and make a place among us where women are honored by honoring our own unique journeys of womanhood. Join us in a revolutionary act. It is more than a woman’s circle. It is a deep learning process of unlearning the busy and finding the moment.
Inside the Red Tents we give ourselves time to remember who we are at our very core, while honoring that to remember we must turn from our identities and roles towards the innermost temple of our own hearts. Come into the Red Tent and stop. In the quiet and sometimes celebratory company of wonderful women, feel. In what you feel, there is much that is waiting for you.”
I am pleased, and happy, about bringing a Red Tent Temple to my local community of Bisbee, AZ. It’s important. It’s time. Womyn need a place to come together, to gather, to reconnect. We live in such crazy times, and our ancient ways of womynhood and divine feminine experiences are getting lost. As we struggle to fit into the boxes of societies demands and our various roles, the essence of our authentic spirit cries out to be heard and attended to. Come to the Temple. Relax. Unwind. Be nurtured by other womyn. Share stories and wisdom. This is how we create, design, and maintain sustainable relationships in our lives. Reconnect to your spirit, your story, your dreams, your purpose. Laugh, Dance and Play. The time is now.
My heart sings in the anticipation of being in your presence inside The BisbeeRed Tent and/or of visiting your Tent wherever you are. Join the movement. Erect a Red Tent in your community.
(The Red Tent of Bisbee, AZ will be starting Dec 15th. Connect with Coach Margie for more information)
The Power of Hugging
September 28, 2009 by Coach Margie
Filed under Health & Wellness, Self Development, celebrations, personal growth, relationships
Who knew the power of hugging? Well, quite honestly, I’ve always been a huge hugger. I hug people when I first see them, when I say goodbye,even if I just saw them yesterday and will see them in a couple hours. In my mind, I imagine there is the slight possibility that I may not see them again and I don’t want to regret that I didn’t hug them with all my love, affection, admiration and respect that one last time. I’ve learned to open my arms with an invitation of a hug, rather than assume everyone wants to hug just because I do. After awhile, you just know who the fellow huge huggers are, and who tends to shy away from hugging. Respecting everyone where they are, you jump into the arms of those who love to hug and you hug the others in your mind and heart. This is all the practice of engaging bliss into your life-loving others as they are, and being all of who you are without quieting that which deeply moves you.
In my community there is one burly, gregarious, happy hugger of a man, who every time I see him my body goes into a little happy dance, because it knows we’re going to get not only a fabulous hug, but a very sweet little spinal adjustment as well. It’s marvelous, and limits my need to visit the chiropractor, thereby keeping precious dollars in my pocket (always a plus these days!) So, when I saw him last week my receptivity to his hug invitation was no different. Unfortunately, his hug was! Somehow, someway, something went very wrong, and in the process of our hugging one of my ribs got cracked!! As I said, who knew the power of hugging. Ouch!
One thing I have definitely been continuously reminded of this Summer, is that pain brings awareness. Suddenly, in the days that followed, I was so focused on my core-how I moved it, the ways I stretch it, where it’s weak, and how much I depend on it. This was the power of the hug-bringing me back to my core, to my center, and into the awareness of her necessary healing, and I don’t just mean on a physical level. Wow!
In no way will this experience stop me from hugging! For me hugging is a simple, easy, harmless (well, most of the time!) way of counteracting the touch deprivation so prevalent in our culture these days. Touch is healing. Touch connects us. Hugging let’s us know we are loved.
How do you hug? Are you a tent hugger, keeping the lower half of your body extended away from the other person? A one sided hugger, where your hips are touching rather than a full frontal connection? A one arm hugger, never fully committing to the hug? A back slapping hugger? Do you relax into the hug, or stiffen and feel tense? Do you hug with clean, clear intent, or attempt to cop a feel? Is there a hidden agenda, or just the desire to embrace this being before you with love and yummy-ness?
Check out this great video, if you haven’t seen it yet, about how one man took to the streets with a “free hug” campaign. It’s a great example of how hugging can change the world. (Watch for all different types of hugs!)
I invite you to explore the power of hugging. To begin opening up to the receiving of magnificent hugs from others, and engaging in the practice of inviting others to be hugged. See where your edges are. Observe how you hug. Explore yourself and your thoughts about hugging. Most of all, don’t forget to hug yourself-lovingly, gently, and often! Drop into the bliss of it all.
Then go out and start your own Free Hugs campaign and see how your world changes.
