Life, Love and Bliss

Well, true to the word of my last post, I haven’t been writing here to much. Have you noticed that time just seems to speeding up exponentially lately? Holy cow! I just can NOT even believe that my last post was 3 months ago, that it has been one year since my mother passed, that we are into February. All I have to say is WOW!

I recently listened to a great YouTube interview with Gregg Braden , an author who bridges science and spirituality. He had some really interesting things to say about where things are right now astrologically, within great time patterns, polar shifts, and how that all relates to the sense of time speeding up.

Oh good, I’m not crazy.

Lately I’ve been experiencing these immense, what I have been calling, energy downloads. They just drop in and all of a sudden I am a bundle of nerves and vibrating energy that I don’t know what to do with. Sometimes it manifests as anxiety, other times as total ungroundedness, and once or twice it was tinged with a bit of fear. I was freaking out trying to figure it all out-what was causing this? What did I eat? Have I been on the computer to much? Is it that new vitamin supplement? (No, I stopped taking it and it still happened! )

And then I listened to the above mentioned audio and he talks about how a lot of people are experiencing this exact same thing and why.

Oh good, I’m not alone. It always feels better to know you are not alone!

But, lately, I have felt that way. After 4 months of travel, where I was constantly connecting with loved ones and new friends,  I am temporarily staying in a friends 1 room efficiency studio apartment to catch back up to my life and re-clarify the next phase of the journey. I’ve been real busy doing that -Bliss101Radio is pretty much all set with some amazing guests for the year, I have vision boards all over my walls, I took care of several things that were on the back burner while I traveled, I’m getting some long awaited major dental work done, and I’m sitting still for a few months!

Sitting still has a funny way of bringing everything right to you though. And for me right now, the biggest thing it brings for me is a sense of isolation. In November I was actually looking forward to some solitude and alone time. Now, I am tired of it.

Isolation is something that a good majority of people struggle with in these times. With all of our technological advances more people work out of their homes, one can take care of a majority of shopping needs via their computer, and all forms of entertainment that we used to go out for now are directly linked into our living rooms. With the number of working hours increasing as well, we have less time to socialize, or are to tired to do so. Combined with the underlining stress of the economic conditions and global events, laced with a total information overload that is enough to blow anyone’s mind, many people are left with a sense of unnameable despair, depression, disconnection, loneliness, and fear. This can lead to the urge to isolate and separate with the thought that it is somehow easier.

There is hope however. As Gregg Braden shares, we are moving into an exciting and transformative time, one that has been predicted and hoped for over the years. If you move away from mainstream news and start to dig deeper, one can find a plethora of amazing people doing really incredible things that support sustainability, community, and connection. People are craving it. The time is ripe. I, for one, am stepping on board. (I encourage you to find out what is happening in your area, and I will be speaking more about this in future posts)

So, life isn’t always easy. Obstacles come before us all the time. Sometimes we lose sight of the path. Sometimes the path takes us in directions we are unprepared for. Love isn’t always shouting our name from the rooftops, so we have to work harder to be, and give, love. Sometimes the journey comes to an end and we wonder where the heck are we anyhow!? Sometimes we feel so alone we want to cry out in anguish, just praying someone will hear us.

What I have learned on my journey is that, ultimately, we are never alone, love is always right around the corner, all we have to do is believe, and if we don’t believe to just reach out and someone will be there to remind us, to help us to believe once again. And that my friends, is bliss.

(Speaking of travel, I just finished a really great book by Robert Sullivan, called “Cross Country”. It’s a fascinating read that covers “fifteen years and 90,000 miles on the roads and interstates of America with Lewis and Clark, a lot of bad motels, a moving van, Emily Post, … kids, and enough coffee to kill an elephant”, and includes a great perspective on the creation of the US Highway system. I recommend it.)

Blissing Out and Away

WOW!! It has been a very-long-time since I have posted in my blog. Bad girl blogger, some would say. Well, to be honest, dear readers, I have been living life, and fulfilling blog writing requirements based on the latest marketing suggestions has not been my priority, rather, living, and feeling into, life has been the name of this girls games lately. 

And, a lot has happened….at the time of my last post I was on day 15 or so of a hospital bedside vigil for my mother, that lasted a total of 28 days and culminated in her passing. Don’t be dismayed, it was an incredibly powerful, profound, transforming, and enlightening time for me. The gifts she gave to me in her final days, and final breaths, are still being integrated into my spirit/soul. I wouldn’t trade that time in for anything, and I am so grateful that I have the life I do that allowed me to be there, to show up, and to have the space to put the rest of my life on hold, while I did that. That time set my life on a whole new course, brought my sister and I closer, and provided the opportunity for a master evaluation of the path I am on. I have not found all the answers. I have discovered a new perspective, and a new outlook that allows me to put aside fear, anxiety, and doubt, and move forward anyhow. 

When you sit with the womyn who has birthed you into the world, and you know that the only thing you can do is provide unconditional love to her in that moment, no matter what your history has been, and then you hold her hand while she takes her last breaths, well… it changes you. It brings home, with a whole new clarity, the idea that we can’t take a damn thing with us when we go, except the love in our hearts, and the awareness of the love we have given away. My mother waited until all of her immediate family was gathered around her, and laughing together, before she left. This spoke volumes to me and has reconnected me to the basic essentials , and elements, of life. 

And I come away with this: life is to short. Way to short. And, it can all change in an instant. Mom was living independently and just fine, at 80 yrs old. A fall, resulting in head wound, started a course of events that led to her passing. Who would have known? Who would have guessed? We must be prepared at any minute for it all to end when we least expect it. What then will we say? Will we be happy with how we have lived our life? 

Mom’s passing, and many other circumstances leading up to that time, and afterwards, has caused this just-turned-50, menopausal, life coach, laughter yoga leader, bliss-ologist, daughter, sister, communitarian, ecologist, earth/gaia girl to completely access her life and go Whoa! What are we doing here? 

The end result?  The letting go of my office. A reduction by 50% of all my belongings. The rest of it in storage. My car packed like a big suitcase. And a journey to re-discover my essence, to re-connect with my core values, and to discover the next place I am meant to be. The hope is for that to be in intentional community. I’m tired of living alone. I want to live and work and play deeply, and intimately, with people who share my values. I want to grow food and live lightly on the Earth. I want to eat, and cook, meals with others. I want to create a history with those I live with, and find support, validation, love, connection, intimacy, affirmation, encouragement, and joy an intentional part of everyday life. Life is to short. Fill it up big. Make the most of it now. Go for your dreams. Live the life you most want to live. Manifest it. Live your bliss.

It’s what I tell my clients. I need to live it too. So watch me, here I go!!

Oh, BTW, it might mean I am not here to much. Or maybe the posts will change in their focus. Or maybe I will start a whole new blog about my adventures. or maybe I will just grow food and let everything else go. Or maybe…….

 

 

 

A Trip Down Memory Lane

I just returned from a 10 day excursion down memory lane. What a trip that has been, on many levels! It’s amazing how returning to the scene of our past can set into motion a whole score of things.

Engaging in such activity could be trauma inducing, or it could provide us with some new insights, understandings, and appreciations. Being able to see the experiences of the past as gifts that support our growth and personal evolution, rather than a list of regrets, is key.

A high school reunion is probably the epitome of reminisce-ville. Especially when it’s anywhere past the 25yr mark! This was my 30th, and we returned to the school campus of our co-ed, college prep, boarding school, Wasatch Academy. A particularly great school, Wasatch prides itself on student body diversity and making a difference in students lives. It is where I first got exposed to a wide variety of cultures and the people who lived in them. It also became my first experience in community living, something that would have a positive impact and influence on my future life. My favorite part was getting to see all the natural wonders in Utah which was nothing like I had ever seen as a Nor-Easter!

I drove in my car from Arizona to Mt Pleasant, Utah for the reunion. I traveled along the Vermillion Cliffs In AZ before crossing the border into Utah, a spectacularly beautiful drive that loosened the baggage of my mind and allowed for the memories to begin. Along the way I stopped at Red Canyon, Bryce Canyon and many other beautiful spots. I recalled how my mom and sister drove me out to school from CT and who I was in that time. A naive, messed up kid for sure!!

Arriving at the reunion, I was struck by how instantly at home I felt, despite the many changes and advancements over the years. Connecting with friends, I saw myself mirrored in their eyes, all of us asking the question-how did I get here? I facilitated a sharing circle that allowed for participants to share their hearts truth regarding anything that needed clearing from long ago, any part of their life over the last 30yrs, or what is alive for them right now. The shared theme I heard in this circle was the awareness that life rarely turns out as we plan, that who we thought we were going to be is nowhere to be found, and that the influence of life at Wasatch Academy was a positive force for all.

How lucky we all were to have attended this institution that molded and shaped us, educated and informed us, supported and encouraged us, and set each of us on a path of discovery that 30 yrs later brings us all back together again. While not the same people by any stretch of the imagination, I could see the essence of everyone as I knew them in their smiling eyes, shining spirits and searching hearts.

My journey home allowed for lots of reflection as I took myself to quiet and beautiful nature spots for soul rejuvenation and personal retreat. While making certain to visit key locations,  I thought about the circles of time, who I was and who I have become, and how at each stop along the way there was a flood of memories that connected me to my past and looped around to connect to my life experience of today. My favorite place was Zion, an astoundingly beautiful spot on this Earth, that reminded me of my own greatness and how far I have come since I last visited there.

Ultimately, the journey to our past often informs our future, and this trip has been all that and more for me. While at Zion I received some information that indicated some very big changes in my life were on the horizon. It was exactly the same way in 1979 as I traveled home after my graduation from Wasatch.

Circles in time. The bliss of memory lane is that we know how to do it different this time.

The Bliss of Great Travel Preparation

This week I am getting ready to leave for vacation. I’m packing my bags, getting my ducks all in a row, defining my intentions and emotionally preparing for a couple weeks on the road.

Preparation is an important part of any journey, whether it is an actual physical journey, or a journey of the heart. How we prepare for something sets the tone for how the experience will be for us.

Sometimes it’s OK not to prepare, to just be spontaneous and on the fly. But even that requires a certain level of preparation to be open to the flow of the experience.

How do you prepare for journey’s? Are you methodical or chaotic? Are you a list maker, or can you keep it all in your head? Do you ask for help, or try to do it all yourself?

Noticing how we engage in certain situations provides clues for how we might best show up in other circumstances. The area of preparation is ripe with possible insights.

Take a moment to consider how you might prepare for your next journey; whether it is traveling home to see the folks, embarking on a new exercise lifestyle, embracing the brilliance of your soul, building your business or learning how to slow down. What are the essentials you need to pack? Is there a new way to prepare that will support you better in arriving at your destination?

Me? I’m a list maker. And I lay out all my clothes on the bed, seeing how many I can mix and match to create numerous outfits with the least amount of clothing. I’ve learned over the years that I tend to wear the same favorite things the whole trip, so there is no need to bring my whole wardrobe. Books on the other hand…..well, let’s just say I always bring a few!

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” - Cesare Pavese

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” – Martin Buber

“Not all those who wander are lost.” - J. R. R. Tolkien

(This post originally appeared in July 08, at gaiagirlmargie.gaia.com-since it applies so well to this week, I decided to take the easy road and not write a whole new article. Another trick for great travel preparation-decide what is really important and make it easy on yourself!)