Light At The End Of A Dark Tunnel

Pain. Sadness. Grief. Despair. Stress. “Uck!”, you say? I agree.

Unfortunately, that’s where I have been, to be openly honest.

Well, it’s where I was. Hence the lack of new words, in the last 2 months, on these pages.

Yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Actually, I am IN the light right now. Whew……sooooo good to be here.

The journey of life is not always an easy one. Try as we may, sometimes we fall down. Sometimes we can’t get back up for awhile. Sometimes we need to rely on our friends to get us through the day, or even more, the night. Sometimes we wonder if we will make it.

One thing I have learned. The universe, or God, or whatever you want to call it, never gives us more than we can handle. And when it feels like we won’t be able to handle it, it is because we need to learn how to.

The last 8 months have been one of the most challenging times in my life. A period where everything that is my life came up for question, and got turned completely inside out, when my partner made the choice to end our relationship. I’ve come to understand that it wasn’t so much the break-up, or that my partner couldn’t show up the way I hoped he would, that threw me head first and screaming into the dark tunnel. Sure, that was painful and had it’s own set of tears and grief. What had more impact though,  was what got called up with-in me, what I was forced to confront, how I chose to engage in the process, and how in the end I was the one that had to figure it all out and re-design my life. Your friends can only hold your hand for so long.

Having the opportunity to evaluate everything in your life and discern the truth of it for yourself is a wild and weird ride. However, when you wake up one morning and finally accept that things just aren’t what you thought they would be, you have to do something. While it is hard to recognize it at the time, such a cataclysmic event can be a real gift. The blessing for me has been about reconnecting to the essential elements of my souls requirements-what my soul needs to live a life of authentic bliss. Isn’t it amazing how we can lose sight of what those things are sometimes?

The re-design doesn’t happen over night. (Small manageable steps, as I tell my clients all the time!) It requires deep exploration, internal questioning, values review and lots of time for simply healing. In my journey I have given myself oodles of gentleness, self nurturing and space to just be. It’s not easy. I’m a go-getter, organizer and facilitator. To not have a clear sense of what is around the corner of my life drives me crazy sometimes.

But the truth is, do we ever know what is around the corner? If I had known that the fated relationship was going to end up as it did, would I have gone forward? And if not, then what would I have lost? Certainly the rich lessons of the journey. While they came with some heartache, ultimately, the gifts I am left with for myself are ones I am grateful to have. I do not regret the journey.

And today, well, for today I am just darn happy that I made it through that tunnel! And, I’m here to tell you, if you happen to be finding yourself in some dark tunnel with no light in sight, that you will too. I just know it.

Self Ecology, Planetary Sustainability

This Summer has involved a lot of pain for me on various levels, as you know if you have been reading my blog. Now, I’m not telling you that to get sympathy or elicit your feeling sorry for me. It’s just fact. It is, what it is, what it is, as my clients often hear me say. Now that I am over the worst of it, I can look back and see what an amazing process it has been and recognize all the growth it has produced. The hugged-to-hard rib is healing, and so is my heart. I’m able to see beyond the intensity of my emotional self and things are looking pretty good!

Recently I found a wonderful piece of poetry, in an old “We-Moon” dayplanner, that I glued into my journal because of it’s perfection with regards to my process. What I have realized, as the seasons change and I come out of this Summer, is that the most important and wise thing I did through it all was to practice radical self care above and beyond any other concern. As I allowed myself to grieve my losses, and cry with the pain, or scream with the agony, and rage with upheaval of it all, I was facilitating a healing process. Had I ignored or denied what my experience was, it only would have come back to haunt me in the future.

This is true for our planet as well. The longer we deny and ignore the undeniable problems we are being confronted with, such as radical climate change, the larger the problem will become. If we accept what is, and set about changing it, then there is some prayer and hope that we just might heal things. In the process we also need to grieve our losses, rage with the absurdity of it all, and shed the tears of despair that rise from the depths of our spirit souls. Arne Naas calls this our Deep Ecology. It’s the place were we realize that we and Earth are one, and in caring for ourselves we care for the planet, and vica-versa.

The poem in the We-Moon calendar (http://www.wemoon.ws/), by Mary Steel, is called Self Ecology, and it speaks to the same thing.

Self Ecology

Without reverence for my
ecological self
without my own inner balance
where I find poise between
the skies of my ambitions
and the requisites of my earthly state
I cannot be that warrior

Without the quiet place reached
in grace and thanksgiving skywards
while the daily needs of my body
her bones, her flesh
draw me earthwards
I cannot engage in planetary survival

Without opening the portals
cosmological to base
in my own energy systems
I cannot go forth
and open the portals
for survival
of our planetary systems

And without standing aside to
watch in peace
the quiet flow of the energy
in my body
and the soft waterfalls of my mind
I cannot be that warrior.

Practicing Self Ecology is a radical act of planetary health care. For, when we understand our own micro-systems and bio-regions and changing seasons, we can better relate to, and want to protect, the natural environment around us.

Here, at Bliss101, we encourage the design of sustainable lives, relationships and environments. Self Ecology/Deep Ecology is a primary cornerstone of the philosophy that motivates and drives my engagement with, and support of, my clients. I invite you to join us on this journey as we move into this critical time on this planet. In the meantime, take good care of yourselves!

Core Fundamentals for Living Bliss

I recently became inspired to consider what core fundamentals were operating in my life these days, and if they were appropriate for these times we currently find ourselves living in. I discovered that I needed to adjust my thinking in some areas to accommodate for the changes and to make way for continued success in my life and business. I realized that I had indeed been sucked into the fear of “things to come” and that this completely took me out of the present moment, and my ability to enjoy each moment for the wondrous gifts they are.

While there are a lot of things out there to be concerned about, and it is important to stay informed, we do not need to let any of it determine how we show up each day, nor do we need to let any of it ruin our individual bliss. We can lose material possessions, jobs and bank rolls, even relationships, but we don’t have to lose our spirit, our passion, our compassion, our connections with others or our spiritual path.
Knowing the core fundamentals that keep us inspired, hopeful, on track and present to each moment are touchstones to which we can return.

Take a moment to jot down 3-4 items, small catch phrases or affirmations, that provide a foundation for you. You may find, as I did, that you will re-access certain ideas or ways of being so that you can navigate more easily-this is the idea! Allow for these fundamental elements to flow forth from your authentic center-there are no should’s or have to’s here, only a desire to be more connected to the essence of your “Living Bliss”, whatever that is for you.

Here are my 4 core fundamentals that I am currently working with:

* Live with passion and joy
* Trust the process
* Be authentic
* Put yourself out there

What are some of your core fundamentals that can keep you happy and a float these days? I would love to hear what’s working for you.

How to Find Bliss While Tackling the To-Do List

(Part 1 of a 2 part series)

Here is my basic premise: There are always things to get done. We orient our lives around a perpetual to-do list. Everything from paying the bills, feeding the kids, building our business, mowing the lawn, getting exercise, socializing, defining our purpose, attending our relationships, and everything in between. Our To-Do lists can provide structure and order, or they can provide us with a never ending sense of guilt about what we are not doing and accomplishing. We create lists to stay on track, to not forget, to stay connected to our vision, and to define priorities.

But what happens when our lists become a mile long and we really aren’t getting anything on them done?What is the message here? Why are we able to do some things, and not others? Are the items on it really that important? Are they not in alignment with our values so we ignore them , hoping they will go away? Is there no juice, passion, or motivation in the tasks? Are they there out of some sense of obligation, should, or have to?? Or is there some other element at play here?

A bit ago I did some of my own personal exploration around my pattern of doing things and attention to my own To-Do list. Working with the above basic premise, my inquiry led me to a methodology that I have adopted and is working really well for me. As you read I ask you to consider these ideas for yourself, to give them a try, and then to get back to me with some feedback. How did it work for you? What am I missing? What did you notice about yourself as you integrated these ideas and changed your relationship with your To-Do  list? My hope is to develop this into a workable program that will support individuals and groups move into a more enjoyable experience with the tasks of their lives, to find a way to make it a fun game worth playing, and from that place to get dynamic results where everything gets done with lots of time left over for the really important things in their lives.

The secondary premise, after there is always things to get done, is that all of these things require various degrees of our cognitive, creative, intellectual, physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual, skills and attention. For instance, mowing the lawn requires our physical ability, but not so much of our creative or mental skill. Building our business might engage our creative and emotional skills, as well as our intellect, with each element being required in various degrees depending on the task at hand. When we recognize this and allow ourselves to do the tasks that best feed the skill center we seem to be in at the moment, I am discovering, we can get more done, and our sense of passion and joy increases as well.

Here are the problems-being scattered, getting distracted easily, lack of focus, lack of completion, being stuck or bogged down, no energy, brain fog-any of these sounding familiar? Actually, these are not problems! They are signs that you are not utilizing the appropriate skill set!! It’s an opportunity to check in with yourself and see what you need. Working on a creative project and feeling stuck? Maybe it is time to stop, get up and go get your exercise for the day. Allow the creative energy to be moved, so that it can come forth. Guaranteed, when you go back to your project, you will have new ideas and the creativity will be flowing again.And, you will have gotten your exercise.

Because there are so many things to do, if we stop trying to force ourselves to get one thing done when it’s not working, and instead let it go and attend to something else that is more in alignment with what our body, soul, and spirit is calling for in that moment, eventually, we will get everything done. We work in a more cyclic, creative flow, rather than a dogmatic, linear way. Sounds way more fun and bliss inducing to me.

Stay tuned for more ideas on my new Getting Things Done methodology, including tips on how to integrate these ideas, and the benefits of making the switch. In the meantime, try this idea on for size, and tell me what you think.

Experiencing Men, Experiencing Ourselves

Wanting to announce this new program that I am very excited about!!

I would love to invite you to a very special womyn’s circle, that I know many of you would enjoy and benefit from. This 6 week experience (meeting 1x week) explores our intimate relationships with men, our beliefs we have about men, and what patterns and behaviors we have developed that don’t support healthy, whole and happy partnerships.

As the circle is limited to only 7 womyn, and it is half full already, if you are interested it is best to let me know ASAP. If you are unable to join for this time frame, and are wishing you could be a part of the group, let me know. With enough interest we will run a 2nd group, and I am also considering a tele version of it.

Look forward to having you be a part of the circle!

Experiencing Men, Experiencing Ourselves-

A Womyn’s Relationship Support and Healing Group

A 6 week adventure, starting July 27th, and meeting for each consecutive Monday after.

6:30PM-8PM

$10-15 donation per session

Appropriate for ALL womyn-single, in relationship, married, or divorced.

Commitment to the full 6 weeks required.

The journey of intimate relationship between men and womyn is fraught with hope, desire, disappointment, pain, joy and fear. For most couples, relationship is often a struggle. While we all yearn, and have a strong urge for, love relationships that are free of mistrust, disharmony, separation and pain, rarely do we find the pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.

As womyn we especially desire to discover a nurturing, supportive, loving and tender partnership that allows for us to safely bloom into the sensual, incredible womyn creatures that we are.

Is it all the men, or do we have a part in the results and outcomes of our intimate relationships? What conscious beliefs and subconscious learnings influence our behaviors, our decisions,and our relations with men? How are we sabotaging our best intentions, or making choices so that we can continue to play out our stories?

Within a peer group of other womyn asking these same questions, and wanting to commit to a new path, we will explore our intimate relationships to, and with men. We will discover the commonality of our experiences , witnessing, acknowledging and validating our shared journey’s.

Utilizing group discussions, facilitated exercises, sharing circles, grief work, personal reflection and other processes, we will strive to understand ourselves better as we begin to discover ways to improve our relations with men through improving relationship with self. We will identify sabotaging patterns, behaviors and thoughts, and make a new commitment towards embracing a better way. We will learn how we can choose better by honoring our authentic truths, releasing fear and recognizing when we are going down a repetitive path.

This safe, confidential, and experiential loving space will also include celebration, honoring and respect of our innate beauty as womyn, the challenges we face, and the vision we share for right relationship. It is possible to experience intimacy with abundance and joy and create an amazing life that can include an amazing partner!!

Can a group of powerful and loving women help each other get what they truly want and deserve? Yes, we can!!

Coach Margie Scott is a Master Certified Retreat and Life Coach, with over 15 yrs experience facilitating groups and events. Through her work, and in support of her clients, she encourages the design of sustainable lives, relationships, and environments, with a focus on Whole Health. She is the owner of Living Bliss Life Coaching and Retreats, and has been playing the relationship game for a very long time! Her most recent game has taught her the value of conscious commitment, and has uncovered the power of hidden beliefs, sabotaging behaviors and the silent contracts that we bring to our relationships.

Next Page »