Love For No Reason

Have you ever noticed how life has such a great way of providing us with exactly what we need, while putting us exactly where we need to be?

Have you also noticed how conditioned we are to not trust that, and to resist what the universe is offering? We tend to push against the flow, because we have our own ideas of how things should look or be, rather than believing that what is showing up is just perfect.

I’m in the midst of getting that reminder loud and clear right now. For a month I had been desperately seeking new housing, because a sudden turn of events required me to leave the home I recently had moved into only a few months prior. Nothing was showing up, and I was down to the wire. All packed up and no where to go. Then, I got a call from my sister. Mom was in the hospital, not doing well, and I needed to come home quick. In 2 days time, I was able to throw everything into storage, drop my cat off with some friends, and board the plane from AZ to CT, where I am now for an undetermined amount of time, caring for my Mom. It all is so perfectly clear now. But boy did I ever despair, resist, and question things up to now!

I think love is like this too. Someone shows up and we reject them because they don’t look like the model we prefer, or they don’t have the right job. Or maybe we believe we “aren’t ready”. We find a way to push away the perfection, allow the past to color the current moment, and despair that things aren’t the way we want.

Wouldn’t it be nice if this was all different? Well, I think there might be a way to break some of those old patterns, and to stop having the past color the current moment. Go here to learn about the new book “Love For No Reason” by Marci Shimoff, a featured teacher in the hit movie “The Secret”, and an upcoming guest on Bliss101Radio.

Marci’s fabulous book, “Happy For No Reason” has been a profoundly important book for me the last couple years, and is a foundation for my current work and coaching. So, I am real excited to partner with Marci in launching her new book, and to have her on Bliss101Radio this coming Friday.

And together, let’s find new ways to Love For No Reason in this upcoming year. Because really, what else is there?

Blissings,

Coach Margie

Check out this great video on the perfection of being exactly where you need to be.

Relationship Sustainability-Myth or Attainable?

Yesterday morning I took a long walk. My getting-better-all-the-time-routine is to take a walk every morning. This time however, I walked with a bit of a heavy heart.  Relational dynamics with my partner were really troubling me, and my soul (never mind the Coach in me!) was aching to find some solutions .

I walked with the question of: What does designing sustainable relationships really mean, and is it even attainable? Quite honestly, this isn’t a game I feel I have played so well over the years, at least within the realms of intimate, primary partnership. My father once said that I go through boyfriends faster than he goes through trucks! (Of course I wasn’t sure how this applied as it seemed I was going through way more boyfriends than he was trucks! But I guessed he was trying to tell me something in his John Wayne style of fathering). While in the past my successes haven’t been so great, it is a game I continue to master and am learning to play in a whole new way!

Since I’ve read Marci Shimoff’s “Happy For No Reason” book, I have been making a practice of increasing my happiness set point. She talks about how you can choose to be happy, no matter what circumstances or situations are occurring in your life. While my heavy heart wanted to have a pity party, something else decided it was more important to somehow put this choice into action. I began to focus on all the beautiful things around me, and there were so many! The exquisite orange Ocotillo blossom against a lush green background of trees.  The delicate white thistle flowers. The grey silhouette of the Elm and Chiricahua Mountains in the distance. The sweep of wispy clouds against the dramatic blue sky. The call of the Cactus Wren. So many things to bring joy to my heart!

The more I walked, the better I felt. Suddenly,everything I needed to know came tumbling through with great clarity! What needed to be said, how to say it, and the awareness that it needed to all be said very, very quickly. There was no more waiting, no more pretending, no more allowing. A certain rush of emotion came up with it, and I tenderly allowed for it. As I continued to focus on all the beauty around me, a calmness spread through out me and I moved into a grounded place of knowing that was soothing and comforting.

My ultimate belief is that sustainable relationship is attainable. What this means to me is a relationship that gives and nurtures energy, rather than draining it. What I know is that I’ve just been doing it wrong all these years. I looked outside myself for the energy, rather than harvesting it within myself. In doing so it was hard to see the beauty that was all around me, available for my own personal harvest! When, on my walk, I focused on that which brings me joy, I found the answers to that which was bringing me sadness. I went home, we had a great talk and the dynamics are in a positive place. And that is happy making! Which creates more energy, which builds on the happiness, which expands the energy even more, which……well, you get it, right??