The Bliss of “Heartstorming”

heart in handRecently, in a lovely conversation with a great friend, he spontaneously plopped out of his mouth the word “heartstorming”. It landed between us with this delicious sense of possibility. We agreed we had never heard anyone use this word before and imagined the possibilities of it. For us, it meant the joining together of hearts to create a storm of fabulous potential using that shared energy to design dreams, manifest desires, create community, and build support. Just saying the word seemed to create a great hush that was comforting and exciting at the same time.

Our hearts are magnificent and alive , pulsating with passion and purpose, constantly tugged by the ebb and flow of emotion, and seemingly with a mind of their own. ‎”The heart knows it’s reasons, which reasons knows not of”  says Blaise Pascal. Ahhh, isn’t this so true? How often does our heart lead us in a direction we were not intending on going in, yet go anyhow, only to discover great gifts of abundance and deliciousness on the journey?

A hotbed of emotion our hearts can be considered a conduit to our soul…it is what helps us to understand all our mixed up feelings, to conceptualize them, and to discover what course of action we need to take. Yet, the heart is the leader, more often than not. What if we harnessed all that amazing power, and worked with others to, rather than brainstorm, to heartstorm!! If we imagine that our hearts have an intelligence of their own, then it is possibly to conceive that heartstorming may indeed offer a whole new way of looking at things, that could potentially change the very world we live in.

As it turns out, a simple Google search revealed that there is indeed, already, a philosophy of Heartstorming, developed by a Father Paul Keenan. He has a book about it , where he suggests that heartstorming “helps unlock the healing potential of our emotions.” His 3 part process includes “the heart’s reaction to an experience, the mind’s reflection on the reaction, and the soul’s synthesis of the experience, resulting in a new sense of purposefulness” that he believes is a “path to lasting inner peace and fulfillment”.

When the word plopped out of my friends mouth, we were indeed heartstorming as were sharing our reflections on an experience we were having together, and it allowed us to come into a synthesis of it all. My sense is that heartstorming is all this and so much more. I like the imagery of a great big storm-you know, the kind we welcome and look forward to, such as the ones on a hot summer day-building up as we join our hearts together in a great shared synthesis of explosive power that unlocks the healing potential of our lives, not just our emotions. They say the longest journey is from the head to the heart. Maybe, just maybe, if we stopped doing so much brainstorming, and began to heartstorm more together, that journey would become shorter.

Eskimo Kiss

How are you and your partner heartstorming together?? If you are ready to explore new ways of being together that serve the manifestation of perfect yummyness as a couple, check out my new offerings specifically for couples.

 

Love is Bliss

February 15, 2012 by  
Filed under bliss, love, relationships

Valentines Day was the other day. Did you notice?

Hard not too if you’ve walked into any store within the last month or so. Or peeked in on Facebook yesterday, as every friend was making some kind of post about it, for or against. (Most are for the whole love thing, thank goodness, just not the commercial element of it!)

The night before I had a conversation with a friend and said “wouldn’t it be awesome if people treated every day as if it were Valentine’s Day? Bringing each other chocolates and flowers and writing little love notes to show appreciation and affection to those special people in our lives?” I don’t know about you, but I much prefer to get special treats for no reason, and to be surprised by a spontaneous expression of love rather than one inspired by a Hallmark holiday.

Appreciation is a good place to start. Do you make it a regular practice to let people not only know that you appreciate them, but why? Do you hear yourself saying things like “I really appreciate the way you listen when I’m talking without interrupting, because it helps me know that you really are interested in what I have to say”, or “I appreciate the way you contribute to our group with your grounded-ness and wisdom, as it really helps us stay focused”. These little expressions show others how we value them and it sets the tone for intimacy and love to deepen.

Other ways to show appreciation are through actions……by keeping commitments with our loved ones, by being honest and acting from a place of integrity. I cooked a wonderfully simple yet delicious meal for a friend last night, which for me is a metaphor for nurturing and says I value this relationship and so nurture our relationship by nurturing you. Get creative. How can you discover new ways to show appreciation and gratitude for the people in your life that are special?

Love calls upon us to open our hearts, to be love and give love in order for love to come back to us. While it may sound narcissistic, the ability to manifest love in our lives comes from a foundation of loving ourselves. Before we are able to truly appreciate others we must be able to appreciate the incredibleness with in ourselves, and to value ourselves, right now, right here, as we are. Before we can embrace love coming towards us, we must be able to love ourselves enough to be able to send love out, unconditionally, compassionately, and with trust. Andy Dooley, a very cool dude who I have been following lately, really nails this idea in this funny and wonderful video. 

While many of us know that we might need to do things differently in our relationships, it’s not always easy to integrate this awareness into our every day lives. Sometimes it is just a matter of re-training ourselves while committing to creating positive change and transformation. They say the longest journey is from the head to the heart. Why not bring along a guide who can support you in bringing light to the dark places, who is skilled in recognizing the blocks that keep you from intimacy and connection, who has the awareness of new ways of doing things, and can train you to make that shift??

I invite you to consider the idea of hiring a skilled relationship Coach to help you on your way. You can check out my offerings here .

My heart is full with the wonder and gratitude of all the love in my life, and the many opportunities placed before me to engage in ways that serve love, to guide and support others on their path towards deeper intimacy, and to bring an alive juiciness into the world around me. Yaa love, it really is the answer to most any question.  :)

 

Love For No Reason

January 11, 2011 by  
Filed under bliss, personal growth, relationships

Have you ever noticed how life has such a great way of providing us with exactly what we need, while putting us exactly where we need to be?

Have you also noticed how conditioned we are to not trust that, and to resist what the universe is offering? We tend to push against the flow, because we have our own ideas of how things should look or be, rather than believing that what is showing up is just perfect.

I’m in the midst of getting that reminder loud and clear right now. For a month I had been desperately seeking new housing, because a sudden turn of events required me to leave the home I recently had moved into only a few months prior. Nothing was showing up, and I was down to the wire. All packed up and no where to go. Then, I got a call from my sister. Mom was in the hospital, not doing well, and I needed to come home quick. In 2 days time, I was able to throw everything into storage, drop my cat off with some friends, and board the plane from AZ to CT, where I am now for an undetermined amount of time, caring for my Mom. It all is so perfectly clear now. But boy did I ever despair, resist, and question things up to now!

I think love is like this too. Someone shows up and we reject them because they don’t look like the model we prefer, or they don’t have the right job. Or maybe we believe we “aren’t ready”. We find a way to push away the perfection, allow the past to color the current moment, and despair that things aren’t the way we want.

Wouldn’t it be nice if this was all different? Well, I think there might be a way to break some of those old patterns, and to stop having the past color the current moment. Go here to learn about the new book “Love For No Reason” by Marci Shimoff, a featured teacher in the hit movie “The Secret”, and an upcoming guest on Bliss101Radio.

Marci’s fabulous book, “Happy For No Reason” has been a profoundly important book for me the last couple years, and is a foundation for my current work and coaching. So, I am real excited to partner with Marci in launching her new book, and to have her on Bliss101Radio this coming Friday.

And together, let’s find new ways to Love For No Reason in this upcoming year. Because really, what else is there?

Blissings,

Coach Margie

Check out this great video on the perfection of being exactly where you need to be.

Light At The End Of A Dark Tunnel

Suburban SpelunkingPain. Sadness. Grief. Despair. Stress. “Uck!”, you say? I agree.

Unfortunately, that’s where I have been, to be openly honest.

Well, it’s where I was. Hence the lack of new words, in the last 2 months, on these pages.

Yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Actually, I am IN the light right now. Whew……sooooo good to be here.

The journey of life is not always an easy one. Try as we may, sometimes we fall down. Sometimes we can’t get back up for awhile. Sometimes we need to rely on our friends to get us through the day, or even more, the night. Sometimes we wonder if we will make it.

One thing I have learned. The universe, or God, or whatever you want to call it, never gives us more than we can handle. And when it feels like we won’t be able to handle it, it is because we need to learn how to.

The last 8 months have been one of the most challenging times in my life. A period where everything that is my life came up for question, and got turned completely inside out, when my partner made the choice to end our relationship. I’ve come to understand that it wasn’t so much the break-up, or that my partner couldn’t show up the way I hoped he would, that threw me head first and screaming into the dark tunnel. Sure, that was painful and had it’s own set of tears and grief. What had more impact though,  was what got called up with-in me, what I was forced to confront, how I chose to engage in the process, and how in the end I was the one that had to figure it all out and re-design my life. Your friends can only hold your hand for so long.

Having the opportunity to evaluate everything in your life and discern the truth of it for yourself is a wild and weird ride. However, when you wake up one morning and finally accept that things just aren’t what you thought they would be, you have to do something. While it is hard to recognize it at the time, such a cataclysmic event can be a real gift. The blessing for me has been about reconnecting to the essential elements of my souls requirements-what my soul needs to live a life of authentic bliss. Isn’t it amazing how we can lose sight of what those things are sometimes?

The re-design doesn’t happen over night. (Small manageable steps, as I tell my clients all the time!) It requires deep exploration, internal questioning, values review and lots of time for simply healing. In my journey I have given myself oodles of gentleness, self nurturing and space to just be. It’s not easy. I’m a go-getter, organizer and facilitator. To not have a clear sense of what is around the corner of my life drives me crazy sometimes.

But the truth is, do we ever know what is around the corner? If I had known that the fated relationship was going to end up as it did, would I have gone forward? And if not, then what would I have lost? Certainly the rich lessons of the journey. While they came with some heartache, ultimately, the gifts I am left with for myself are ones I am grateful to have. I do not regret the journey.

And today, well, for today I am just darn happy that I made it through that tunnel! And, I’m here to tell you, if you happen to be finding yourself in some dark tunnel with no light in sight, that you will too. I just know it.

Loving What Is In the Lessons of Love

A few of the ways I love you.

The Summer of 1967 was known as “The Summer of Love”. I was only 6 yrs old, and undoubtedly already learning some lessons of love, or the lack thereof, within the strange realms of an alcoholic household.

42 years later, as yet another Summer season draws to a close, I wouldn’t exactly put this years Summer experience in the high love category. However, as I navigate the tumultuous waters of lost love (do we ever really lose love? I mean, how can we? Love resides within us, not outside of us…) and “divorce”, I certainly have learned a lot about love.

I’ve also been reading, and working with, Bryon Katie’s fascinating ideas about “Loving What Is”, which is also the title of her new book. With the basic premise that the root cause of suffering is the identification with our thoughts and the stories that we have continuously running through our minds, Katie offers a process of 4 questions that can turn around our thoughts and give a new perspective, allowing us to stop fighting reality and accepting what is (http://thework.com). Exploring The Work has allowed me to look deep within myself and discover the stories I have been operating under as I struggle to make a transition that I didn’t ask for, or want.

When your life is made up of certain ideas about the future, commitments, and partnerships, a sudden change, even with all the pre-warning signs, can be traumatic. I have cycled through so many levels of grief, anger, sadness, righteousness, blame, acceptance, and letting go, and am certain there are many more to come. I’ve spent moments hiding under the covers, other moments strongly empowered. I’ve supported clients in their love relationships, witness to the magical unfolding of their journey, a fellow traveler on the path.

Rumi says, Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” I know this, yet, I do grieve. I have to. I can’t help it. Moving through the grief allows me to accept, to let go, to dive deep into the wells of all the love that I am, that I have given to others, and that I yearn to share again. It reminds me that I am alive, that I am feeling, and as I give permission to myself to feel, to grieve, to rage, to just be in what is, I learn the largest lesson of all about love: that ultimately we must love ourselves unconditionally, in the weakest, darkest, I’m-so-small-and-lost moments, if we ever hope to fully open our hearts to love again.

Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” Hemingway

What’s happening in your life with love and relationships? Join me for a 6 week teleclass series “Loving Ourselves While Loving Others” starting in mid-Oct, where we will explore belief patterns and habits that keep us stuck in unfulfilling relationships, identify sabotaging behaviors, and learn specific techniques for embracing a new way of being in healthy, authentic, co-creative relationships. . If you would like to go a little deeper, plan on participating in the 6 month relationship support group where you can take advantage of personalized coaching for half the cost. Details coming soon.

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