Sustaining Long Term Relationships
June 5, 2009 by Coach Margie
Filed under celebrations, personal growth, relationships, sustainability
Wasatch Academy Class of 1979, in 2005
You grew up together. You went to school together. You have known each other a long time and no-one knows you like they do. You met on vacation and have stayed friends ever since. You used to be partners a long time ago and now you are the best of friends.
We all have those special people in our lives; true friends we can’t imagine not being there, and that have been with us for a long time. What makes these relationships last longer, and others come and go so quickly?
This morning I was doing an interview with Sharon Michaels on Blogtalk radio (I’ll post it as soon as it goes live!) and I was talking about my work around encouraging sustainable lives, relationships and environments. It seems to me that sustainability needs to be looked at differently, from a broader perspective. As the world looks at planetary resources, and creating energy in environmentally sustainable ways, so to do we, as individuals, need to do the same. We must continuously ask ourselves-is what I am doing producing energy that is renewable, or is it depleting my resource?
Back to relationships. My theory is that those relationships that last and last are the ones that consistently and constantly provide renewable energy sources. They feed us in ways we need and want. They lift us up and hold us up. They provide the kind of energy that helps us to grow and learn and evolve. They give us that freedom to grow, and don’t abandon us when we need a little extra push in our lives. They’ve got a back up energy supply when our batteries are running low
Take a look at the special people in your life that have been there for awhile. Check out my theory and explore how those relationships give you energy. Now take a look at the ones that don’t feel so good, that maybe you need to let go of, or that you are hoping would go away on their own. What’s the difference?Do you have more relationships that produce energy, or more that deplete your energy? If the latter is true I encourage you to begin the process of letting go of these destructive dynamics that only serve to bring you down.
Old yearbook photos make nametags for 30 year reunion!
Speaking of long term relationships, I am in the midst of preparing to head up to Utah for my 30th High School reunion!! Hard to believe so much time has gone by. I am really excited about connecting with old friends, rediscovering classmates in ways I have not previously known them, and bringing my full authentic self to the table. It’s funny. As I communicate with some of them, most of whom I have not seen in years, it seems as if no time has really gone by. The essence of these amazingly gifted, smart, funny, and wild old classmates, and friends, is still the same. I feel the energy within myself build up as I imagine the way renewed connections will nurture, feed and inspire all of us. The fun factor alone will probably produce enough energy to fuel my car all the way back home!
While we don’t all stay in touch, all of the time, I know that this group of friends will regularly be a touchstone in my life, a place to come home to and a way to remember with great reverence where I have come from. They witnessed, and accepted me, as a naive, skinny, rural teenager from the East Coast, who was far from home and had no clue what she was stepping into for her senior year of High School. There is no doubt they will do the same for this just-a-little-bit-wiser, not-so-skinny, menopausal women, who knows that home is where your heart is.
