The Power of Hugging

Who knew the power of hugging? Well, quite honestly, I’ve always been a huge hugger. I hug people when I first see them, when I say goodbye,even if I just saw them yesterday and will see them in a couple hours. In my mind, I imagine there is the slight possibility that I may not see them again and I don’t want to regret that I didn’t hug them with all my love, affection, admiration and respect that one last time. I’ve learned to open my arms with an invitation of a hug, rather than assume everyone wants to hug just because I do. After awhile, you just know who the fellow huge huggers are, and who tends to shy away from hugging. Respecting everyone where they are, you jump into the arms of those who love to hug and you hug the others in your mind and heart. This is all the practice of engaging bliss into your life-loving others as they are, and being all of who you are without quieting that which deeply moves you.

In my community there is one burly, gregarious, happy hugger of a man, who every time I see him my body goes into a little happy dance, because it knows we’re going to get not only a fabulous hug, but a very sweet little spinal adjustment as well. It’s marvelous, and limits my need to visit the chiropractor, thereby keeping precious dollars in my pocket (always a plus these days!) So, when I saw him last week my receptivity to his hug invitation was no different. Unfortunately, his hug was! Somehow, someway, something went very wrong, and in the process of our hugging one of my ribs got cracked!! As I said, who knew the power of hugging. Ouch!

One thing I have definitely been continuously reminded of this Summer, is that pain brings awareness. Suddenly, in the days that followed, I was so focused on my core-how I moved it, the ways I stretch it, where it’s weak, and how much I depend on it. This was the power of the hug-bringing me back to my core, to my center, and into the awareness of her necessary healing, and I don’t just mean on a physical level. Wow!

In no way will this experience stop me from hugging! For me hugging is a simple, easy, harmless (well, most of the time!) way of counteracting the touch deprivation so prevalent in our culture these days. Touch is healing. Touch connects us. Hugging let’s us know we are loved.

How do you hug? Are you a tent hugger, keeping the lower half of your body extended away from the other person? A one sided hugger, where your hips are touching rather than a full frontal connection? A one arm hugger, never fully committing to the hug? A back slapping hugger? Do you relax into the hug, or stiffen and feel tense? Do you hug with clean, clear intent, or attempt to cop a feel? Is there a hidden agenda, or just the desire to embrace this being before you with love and yummy-ness?

Check out this great video, if you haven’t seen it yet, about how one man took to the streets with a “free hug” campaign. It’s a great example of how hugging can change the world. (Watch for all different types of hugs!)

I invite you to explore the power of hugging. To begin opening up to the receiving of magnificent hugs from others, and engaging in the practice of inviting others to be hugged. See where your edges are. Observe how you hug. Explore yourself and your thoughts about hugging. Most of all, don’t forget to hug yourself-lovingly, gently, and often! Drop into the bliss of it all.

Then go out and start your own Free Hugs campaign and see how your world changes.

Oh! Blissful Sleep!

A 2004 study in the journal Science reports that the quality of our sleep has a greater influence on our ability to enjoy the day, than our marital status or financial situation.

Oh boy, do I know that one! As a survivor of Epstein Barr, which has symptoms similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Fibromyalgia, sleep is something that is top on my priority. Unfortunately, I don’t always get the best of it.

My partner has a weird twitching syndrome (no just restless leg, we are talking whole body twitches here!) and while I often fall fast and deeply asleep, I get woken up frequently to the point that it disturbs the quality of my sleep immensely. This can have me waking up in the morning very grumpy, just ask him!

Some medical folks believe that Fibromyalgia is actually a sleeping disorder, where for some unknown reason, those afflicted with this often debilitating condition are unable to reach the Stage Four sleep cycle where all the muscular and cellular repair is done. All I know is that when I don’t get enough quality sleep, I feel it in my body. And then I experience it my temperament!

What I know for sure (as Oprah is fond of saying) is that sleep is super, duper important in maintaining a healthy and balanced outlook, a clear head, and a feel good body. More and more it becomes a priority to get to bed on time, be certain not drink caffeine late in the day, reduce stress and worry, and eliminate negative dynamics before bedtime so that I can be more assured of getting a good nights sleep.

And, for those seemingly to often nights when I don’t get the quality of sleep I desire, other strategies must be engaged. I allow myself 5 minutes of whining and complaining in my journal about how crappy I feel and bla, bla, bla. Then I read something inspiring, that leaves me feeling good, or something that makes me smile. I watch a short, funny video to get my happy hormones moving. I take a walk to get some sunshine and increase my serotonin levels.

This brings me to the biggest lesson I have learned on my journies with Fibromyalgia, Epstein Barr, and a partner with a weird twitiching disorder. How my body feels does not have to equal what my perspectivve and attitude is, nor does it have to ruin my day. I can feel bad in my body, and be ecstatically happy to be alive. I can choose joy, rather than despair. I can take a nap in the middle of the day.

And, I can pray for a good nights sleep tonight!

Retreat Bliss

Hard to believe a whole week has already gone by since my last entry. Where does the time go? Sounds like it’s time for a home spa treatment to relax and unwind from the week.

Being a Retreat Coach it’s only natural that I strongly advocate the idea of retreating. Think beyond an expensive spa or long weekend retreat, although those are really great and certainly you are worth it as much as anyone! What I am thinking about is the concept of retreat as a way of life, as an attitude, a way of being. In other words, retreat can happen at anytime, in a variety of ways. All you have to do is recognize, and claim, that retreat is what you are doing.

A quiet moment in the garden. Closing your eyes at your desk for a few moments. A long hot bath. Time out in nature. Candle light. All these moments can be turned into a retreat that refreshes your mind, rejuvenates your spirit, and calms your heart.

I recently came across a great little book called “The Busy Women’s Home Spa Book” by Liz Wilde. Liz is also a Life Coach as well as a beauty, health and well-being writer. This book is fun, and easy to read. I got refreshed just looking through the pages at all the beautiful photographs that look so inviting!

She suggests that the rules are simple for what you could do every day that would make you feel-oh-so-good and what I would suggest is integrating the idea of retreat as a way of life. Your habits need to be: simple, give you energy and be things that you want to do! Easier said than done perhaps, and remember, you are in charge of your own life. Choosing to be relaxed, healthy and happy is up to you.

Here are some ideas for leading a retreat oriented life.

• Take time to find stillness and quiet every day, even if only for 5-15 minutes.
• Indulge in self massages
• Turn off your television
• Stretch and move your body
• Spend time in nature; reflecting, observing, just being
• Laugh often
• Get to bed early
• Eat healthy, organic foods
• Use candles and turn mundane events into special ones
• Take an “emotional health” day off from work
• Dance wildly in your living room to music you love

While all of these suggestions might look like every day activities, when you do them with the intention of retreat they become so much more.

As for me, I am going to get off this computer and go try Liz’s Easy Relaxing Face and Neck Massage recipe, before meeting friends for a silly game of miniature golf (laughing is essential!)

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