Oh! Blissful Sleep!
May 27, 2009 by Coach Margie
Filed under Health & Wellness, emotional energy
Quality of sleep is important for many reasons.
A 2004 study in the journal Science reports that the quality of our sleep has a greater influence on our ability to enjoy the day, than our marital status or financial situation.
Oh boy, do I know that one! As a survivor of Epstein Barr, which has symptoms similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Fibromyalgia, sleep is something that is top on my priority. Unfortunately, I don’t always get the best of it.
My partner has a weird twitching syndrome (no just restless leg, we are talking whole body twitches here!) and while I often fall fast and deeply asleep, I get woken up frequently to the point that it disturbs the quality of my sleep immensely. This can have me waking up in the morning very grumpy, just ask him!
Some medical folks believe that Fibromyalgia is actually a sleeping disorder, where for some unknown reason, those afflicted with this often debilitating condition are unable to reach the Stage Four sleep cycle where all the muscular and cellular repair is done. All I know is that when I don’t get enough quality sleep, I feel it in my body. And then I experience it my temperament!
What I know for sure (as Oprah is fond of saying) is that sleep is super, duper important in maintaining a healthy and balanced outlook, a clear head, and a feel good body. More and more it becomes a priority to get to bed on time, be certain not drink caffeine late in the day, reduce stress and worry, and eliminate negative dynamics before bedtime so that I can be more assured of getting a good nights sleep.
And, for those seemingly to often nights when I don’t get the quality of sleep I desire, other strategies must be engaged. I allow myself 5 minutes of whining and complaining in my journal about how crappy I feel and bla, bla, bla. Then I read something inspiring, that leaves me feeling good, or something that makes me smile. I watch a short, funny video to get my happy hormones moving. I take a walk to get some sunshine and increase my serotonin levels.
This brings me to the biggest lesson I have learned on my journies with Fibromyalgia, Epstein Barr, and a partner with a weird twitiching disorder. How my body feels does not have to equal what my perspectivve and attitude is, nor does it have to ruin my day. I can feel bad in my body, and be ecstatically happy to be alive. I can choose joy, rather than despair. I can take a nap in the middle of the day.
And, I can pray for a good nights sleep tonight!
Relationship Sustainability-Myth or Attainable?
May 12, 2009 by Coach Margie
Filed under Health & Wellness, Self Development, Whole Health, relationships, sustainability
Yesterday morning I took a long walk. My getting-better-all-the-time-routine is to take a walk every morning. This time however, I walked with a bit of a heavy heart. Relational dynamics with my partner were really troubling me, and my soul (never mind the Coach in me!) was aching to find some solutions .
I walked with the question of: What does designing sustainable relationships really mean, and is it even attainable? Quite honestly, this isn’t a game I feel I have played so well over the years, at least within the realms of intimate, primary partnership. My father once said that I go through boyfriends faster than he goes through trucks! (Of course I wasn’t sure how this applied as it seemed I was going through way more boyfriends than he was trucks! But I guessed he was trying to tell me something in his John Wayne style of fathering). While in the past my successes haven’t been so great, it is a game I continue to master and am learning to play in a whole new way!
Since I’ve read Marci Shimoff’s “Happy For No Reason” book, I have been making a practice of increasing my happiness set point. She talks about how you can choose to be happy, no matter what circumstances or situations are occurring in your life. While my heavy heart wanted to have a pity party, something else decided it was more important to somehow put this choice into action. I began to focus on all the beautiful things around me, and there were so many! The exquisite orange Ocotillo blossom against a lush green background of trees. The delicate white thistle flowers. The grey silhouette of the Elm and Chiricahua Mountains in the distance. The sweep of wispy clouds against the dramatic blue sky. The call of the Cactus Wren. So many things to bring joy to my heart!
The more I walked, the better I felt. Suddenly,everything I needed to know came tumbling through with great clarity! What needed to be said, how to say it, and the awareness that it needed to all be said very, very quickly. There was no more waiting, no more pretending, no more allowing. A certain rush of emotion came up with it, and I tenderly allowed for it. As I continued to focus on all the beauty around me, a calmness spread through out me and I moved into a grounded place of knowing that was soothing and comforting.
My ultimate belief is that sustainable relationship is attainable. What this means to me is a relationship that gives and nurtures energy, rather than draining it. What I know is that I’ve just been doing it wrong all these years. I looked outside myself for the energy, rather than harvesting it within myself. In doing so it was hard to see the beauty that was all around me, available for my own personal harvest! When, on my walk, I focused on that which brings me joy, I found the answers to that which was bringing me sadness. I went home, we had a great talk and the dynamics are in a positive place. And that is happy making! Which creates more energy, which builds on the happiness, which expands the energy even more, which……well, you get it, right??
